Monday, May 21, 2007

never trust people who voluntarily wear spandex for a living



Went to get some lunch and got hit by a bike messenger crossing the street. I'm OK. He didn't hit me that hard. I might have a bruise on my thigh and my purse broke. Fucking asshole didn't even stop to see if I was OK. He gave me a dirty look, like I was the one with the problem and kept going. Two guys selling counterfeit Rolexes nearby started screaming "COMEBACK, ASSHOLE!" and offered to chase him but I declined. I went into Duane Reade and started crying in the shampoo aisle. Guess I was a little shook up. That kind of thing is always frightening. I'm cool now though. Those guys should be required to wear license numbers on their jackets so people can report their shit when they act like assholes.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Erin, I love your blog. Makes me laugh and smile every day. Bike Messengers the world-over suck ass. I had one for a boyfriend for a year, and your story sort of metaphors that year perfectly. Side-swiped, bruised thighs and crying in shampoo aisles -- and he never even stopped to see if you were okay. You shouldda let the rolex vendors throw a stick in his spokes. :0) hope

Anonymous said...

Aw...feel better, hon!

Outrageouschaos said...

There was a bike messenger who serviced my office building in Midtown. He had Big Bird yellow hair, a fire-engine-red beard, and a pumpkin-orange coat. He also carried his chain (one with like three-inch links) over his shoulder like an ammo belt. Once, while on a smoke break with a coworker, we decided he was what happened if Ronald McDonald and Long John Silver had a very special night together.

This is not really apropos to anything, but I feel that what you need from semi-anonymous internets peoples is some serious bike messenger-hatin'. So. LONG JOHN SILVER AND RONALD MCDONALD GOT IT ON AND HAD A BIKE MESSENGER BABY. HAHAHAHAAA. The jerks.

Erin Bradley said...

I used to date a former bike messenger. He wasn't actively doing it while we were dating (he was a bartender - MUCH MORE STABLE CAREER PATH, RIGHT?) but he still used the heavy ass chain for his bicycle. I found it mad sexy when he wore it around his waist, I have to admit.

jerry said...

they need cow bells