Thursday, July 25, 2013

New York City Makeovers of Home & Garden Shows

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Friday, June 3, 2011

BRO ROWS, BRO

If we're going to insist on using the term "tramp stamp" to describe any lower back tattoo on a female, let's go ahead and use the term "bro row" for any arm tattoo on a male in a circular formation.

Why?

Because:

1. It's a cheesy and expected place to put a tattoo.

2. It's usually worn by musclehead creepo rapester types.

3. It's fun to make judgments about someone's character and behavior based on the location of their ink.

4. The design is probably something your dumb meathead self picked out at the shop, anyway.

Some Bro Row examples:






The bro row.

Know it.

Use it.

Make it part of your vocabulary.

This has been a public service announcement of the ALBTDL.*

*Anti Lower Back Tattoo Defamation League

Friday, March 4, 2011

Fresh Froot

I'm a member of Weight Watchers and those kids are always dropping some knowledge.

Like the other day, when I tracked my weight after a good 2 months off. It said something to the effect of:

"Hmm..It seems you've gained weight. If you know why, then stop. If you don't, perhaps you should figure it out."


It read a bit like a message one would find in a fortune cookie after sitting down to a dinner hosted by Richard Simmons, only the the email itself wasn't slathered in baby oil.

This week I've been seeing this graphic:


whenever I log in to my account.

I don't have any questions about fruit but if I did, they might be something like:

*What's a fruit?

*Where can I purchase it?

*Why is it so pricey?

*Do you think my aversion to anything with a peel stems from the fact that my hipster ad agency thinks it's too adorable for a vending machine and therefore it's one of the few snacks provided gratis by my employer? Free bananas means we care about your health. Awww, THANKS COMPANY! I guess I don't mind that you raised my insurance premium.

*Why do Clementines come in adorable little crates while pears lie around all shiftless, sloppy, and disorganized?

*When will I come to terms with fruit's actual life cycle vs. my perceived aspirational life cycle and, upon purchase, just throw it directly into the garbage?

*Why do old people keep cans of fruit cocktail in their dresser drawers?

Monday, February 14, 2011

Etsy Thinks I'm A Racist

Albeit, a very twee and whimsical one. Like I'd lynch you, but I'd hand-crochet the noose out of organic fibers first.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Life After Death

My time as Miss Info is dunzo

I feel like this:



but also like this at the time:



I'll be writing on Third Armpit more and Twitter.

I don't have time for a post right now, as I spent all night on something for The Daily Beast which I'll link to as soon as it's up but here's a photo of a disgusting pretzel I saw at the airport, Tabby Spanx from this weekend's SNL, and a Third Armpit Mini Best Of to get you started:

Third Armpit Mini Best Of
Fun with Google Image Search: keyword "church dress"
10 Halloween Costumes for Pat Kiernan
How to Play No Ear Cat Samurai



Thursday, September 23, 2010

Hooray for Progress!

Nike ad, 1995



Reebok ad, 2010