piece of shit saturday

it's beautiful. i need to leave the apartment. NEED TO WON'T. until tonight. i ordered ATL on on-demand. it wasn't too bad, actually. i have very low standards when it comes to movies. my 'this is going to be stupid' filter is completely lacking, especially when it comes to movies starring rap artists.

atl has all this rollerskating. people rollerskate in uniformed teams reminiscent of The Warriors. they keep alluding to this big skating competition that never actually happens. i'm sure it got cut out post-production but it seems like a pretty big boo boo. couldn't they have included one short scene? and a cameo by Deney Terrio? i know dance fever wasn't really about roller skating. i just like deney terrio.

i'm working on a movie. there is no part for a deney terrio. i would like to get tip harris though. i would casting couch, chair, ottoman, davenport, bureau, and chifforobe the fuck out of that young gentleman. he has such a cute face. all pinchy and grouchy. you want to kiss him on the nose and give up the jane fonda just to see him smile. he's the baby gerald of the dirty souf.

working at an ad agency is weird because...

two heterosexual males are standing inches from your desk, talking loudly about the "empowering" properties of a certain brand of mass market mascara

lookin' good, richie

she looks like someone you'd see trying to buy nicorette with WIC stamps at the 7-11.

man overboard + another day at the races

I love that the week I get dumped is the same week I have to write ads for romantic "fun ship" cruises. Past two work days I've been staring at a picture of this happy white couple and writing dozens of slogans.

Oh yeah, other thing that happened.

I was peeing this morning in the bathroom with the door open and the cat was peeing at the exact same time. His litterbox is right near the bathroom door and it's kind of at the same level as my toilet. Our heads and necks were sticking out in the EXACT SAME POSITION at the EXACT SAME TIME. We looked like JOCKEYS!!!!

"Are you peeing or pooing? I'm peeing," I said.

He didn't reply.

ERIN'S SUMMER SERIES. THIS WILL PROBABLY NOT BE A SERIES.

every summer they hold amateur boxing matches on pier 54. you get a great view of the sunset as well as dudes beating the algebra out of each other and it's FREE. unlike other free events in nyc, you do not have to get there 13 hours in advance, deal with hordes of screaming infants, or walk through puddles of other people's excrement to wait 3 and a half days for a bottle of bottled water. there's beer there. cheap beer. and low self-esteem beer models. add that to little old men smoking cigars and clutching sweaty wads of money and you've got yourself quite a spectacle.

the next one's June 21st. here's how you go.