Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Everyone cares about me and what I look like and what I'm doing at all times.

On the way home from the shrinks today I stopped at a cart and got a soft pretzel.

This always makes me self-conscious. I feel like people look at me and think "TOURIST" and that bothers me so much that I find myself subtly modifying my behavior to look more like what I think looks like a New Yorker.

This means walking at a quicker pace, glaring a little so as to look more unapproachable and being all lightning quick with my MetroCard.

It's shallow and adolescent but I'm not the only New Yorker who does this. It might not be pretzels. It might be looking at a bus schedule or going to MoMA but the spirit and attitude are similar.

I wonder, does anyone do this in Fresno? Dallas? Detroit?

My guess is no.

6 comments:

Mintzworks said...

your guess is wrong, and thanks for the Fresno shout-out.

There are only a few true 'tourist' things in Fresno, and we Fresnans avoid them like the plague, and when we do go for them, I know I take a TOTAL attitude.

This was SO bad during the recent Rogue performance festival (www.roguefestival.com). I went and sat at my regular restaurant, snaked a table, and when tourists complained I put on TOTAL 'TUDE and as they were calling me asshole and wondering who the hell I thought I was, I said I was part-owner of the restaurant.

"Well, you're never getting OUR business here!!"

And the tourists left...not the exact same story, but we don't have a MOMA, pretzels on the street, or, well...much of anything.

velodi said...

Being one of the only white people in Seoul I whip my subway pass out and show it to the world just so that everyone knows I actually live here and I'm not a tourist.

Nathan said...

Here in Los Angeles, no matter how exciting it may be to notice that Keifer Sutherland is over by the bar saving the world by drinking for 24 hours straight, we act all aloof as if to say, "Psh. I see Keifer Sutherland all the time, LIVING IN LOS ANGELES LIKE I DO. ALL THE TIME, I MEAN. NOT JUST FOR PILOT SEASON. I'M A YEAR-ROUNDER, BABY."

Katie said...

never

eva said...

When I realise I am lost I do a quick 180 degrees U-turn, like I was supposed to do that all along, and didn't really spend 20 minutes navigating midtown unsuccesfully.

Anonymous said...

Nahhh. I pretend to BE a tourist. Who wants to admit they live in Dallas?