I have been to the Promised Land. There is ear damage and $10 beer.

Have you seen my shit? I lost it. At the T.I. concert last night.

I thought the best I could hope for was a guest appearance by R. Kelly. Possibly 50 Cent. Maaaaybe. If I'm lucky.

I wasn't counting on 50, Diddy, Kanye, and Jay motherfucking Z showing up as surprise guests and taking the stage AT THE SAME GODDAMN TIME.

It was so good it got a little scary. When Jay-Z came on people started screaming HO-VA! HO-VA! and making the special Hova sign. It reminded me of a Benny Hinn taping or a wartime propaganda reel or that scene in the Indiana Jones movie where they're about to do a human sacrifice.

Easily one of the best concerts I've been to. With the exception of Ciara. She really needs to shut the fuck up. Yeah, she's beautiful and can sing and dance but her performance was so safe and over-produced, like something you'd see on Disney Kids or Nickelodeon. Before she came on the promoters had to break the huge paper strip spanning the arena that said "Sanitized for Your Protection."

The girls behind me held no truck with her either. They kept going AHN-NEE-WAY! AHN-NEE-WAY! in dismissal, something other people imitate but only black females can properly do.