good underpants matter

i'm running in this race tomorrow (wednesday). i just ate cereal. i am carbo loading. i actually don't know anything about carbo loading. what do you do? eat lots of spaghetti the night before? my dad told me that once. he used to do aerobics in the 80s. back then they called it "calo" and he and my mom had matching navy jumpsuits. my mom still exercises. she takes country line dancing classes and pilates at the senior center.

i just checked the race web site and it looks like there will be a lot of people. 15 thousand. i hope there are a lot of specials and decrepits. my goal is to place in the upper third. half is fine as well. just not anything below.

i like the name of this event - JP MORGAN CORPORATE CHALLENGE. a race that celebrates not charity, not the environment, not little bald cancer kids. but industry. COMMERCE! the stuff that makes the wheels go 'round.

i read the rules and frano the nano is allowed to go. this is fantastic. some races they don't let you. i need 'bad news' by 50 when my energy level plummets. funny thing about that one. he's singing about how to properly shoot somebody and it goes

"And rule number 11, you caught a body but you not a legend
You better watch where you heading."

i always thought it was

"And rule number 11, you caught a body but you not 11.
You better watch where you heading."

i am submitting the preceding anecdote to reader's digest. look for it in the 'life in these united states' section next to the ad for land's end moccasins.

there are a lot of people running the race in my company. i don't recognize anyone from the creative department. maybe i will make vagina friends with a nice project manager or something. her name will be brooke. brooke the bevaginaed project manager.