Friday, October 10, 2008

Monday, October 6, 2008

C is for Cookie, You Don't Want to Ask About D

Volunteering today, I catch the tail end of a conversation.
"MATURE!" yells the little girl.

"UH UHHHH!!!!" yells the little boy.

Repeat nine times over.

I butt in, trying to break the cycle.

"Do you guys knows the difference between mature and immature?" I ask, feeling a bit like Mr. Rogers.

"No, but I know what mature is," says the girl.

"OK," I reply. "What is it?"

She breaks into a big smile. "It's a game for adults!"

Haahahahahahahahha! Guess we know whose parents got caught fucking and/or had to explain to the shorties why they can't watch HBO.

"I can play Guitar Hero," brags the little boy. "Some of the songs have bad words."

It was then I realized that chica was picking up her vocab by reading the rating system on the cover of Grand Theft Auto.

Lord bless us.

Don't Mess with the Mustache

Jezebel had this vile bit of hate up on their site this morning.

I'd like to respond with this terse, image-only rebuttal.

Not only does it make a case for the mustache as a thing of beauty and adoration, it does so without invoking either of the 2 most commonly used examples to defend its noble position, aka the the Reynolds and the Selleck. The moustache does not need to do stoop to such levels. Such is the mustache's resilience and glory.

1. Young Sam Elliott

2. Dallas Cowboy, "Mr. Clutch" Drew Pearson

3. George Harrison

4. Billy Dee as Lando in Star Wars

5. Olympian Mark Spitz

6. Floyd the Muppet*

*Shut up. You know you'd totally do him. Who else you gonna get with? Dr. Teeth's a scary nutjob and Janice has herpes.