Tuesday, August 5, 2008

T.I.'s "No Matter What". Later on, a candid sexual appraisal of former president Ronald Reagan.

I subscribe to a gazillion blogs but only 2 mailing lists.
The first is HBO Documentary Films, the other is T.I.

Today T.I. emailed to tell me about his new video.

It's called "No Matter What" and it's all about how much it sucks to be confined to your 3-story 6 bedroom, 8 bath mansion that sits on 1.7 acres and boasts stunning lake views, a swimming pool, cathedral ceilings, a banquet-style dining room, a master suite w/mahogany paneled study, a nursery, a custom gourmet kitchen w/double ovens, an exercise room and a home theater while being paid lots of money to record an album that many will listen to, but few will actually buy.

T.I. wants you to know that he will go on. Like the Titanic. And Celine Dion's genitalia reassignment. You go on ahead with your gorgeous young self. YOU RAP THROUGH THE PAIN, T.I.

Some of the highlights:

When he goes "git, git, git it!" at 0:59. He looks like a vampy young Richard Simmons.

(starting at 1:21 and throughout) THREE CHEERS FOR SEARS PORTRAIT STUDIO T.I.! Only thing better would be him posing next to two large building blocks, one saying "T" and the other "I". He's hugging an oversized crayon and wearing nothing more than a little bitty engineer's cap/kerchief and a come-hither smile.

There's also an adorable moment at 3:30 where he leans in and chastises you but you know it's only because he thinks you're so cute the way you wrinkle up your nose when you talk and consume oversized lollipops with your bare vagina.

Speaking of cute, here's a sweet Rick Ross remix dedicated to a presidential candidate who's been made to feel less beautiful than Christina Aguilera these days. Obama, I love you, narrow ass and all.