Wednesday, July 9, 2008


My sister and I went to Detroit and Grand Rapids to see our parents and grandma. The first night we went to a neighborhood fun fair/fireworks show, where we quickly established ourselves as the Venus and Serena Williams of that cutthroat Midwestern sport, the cake walk.

The second day we saw grandma. She is 95 and the biggest firecracker you ever saw. She cooks, she shops, she's up on news both real and tabloid. She wears bangin' jewelry, always votes Democrat and smells like Shalimar cologne.

After dinner my sister and I took liberties with some tropical birds. It all traces back to a day in high school when Heather came home to discover my best friend and I had wallpapered her bedroom with pictures of macaws. Kev and I were always doing shit like that. I blame lack of access to drugs and alcohol.

Coming home we had a 2 hour layover in the Milwaukee airport. There was some sort of aviation museum, which had this book and a newspaper article about a guy named Dick Bong.

This guy has nothing to do with my trip but he's been on my hard drive for a while. Several months ago I put an ad on Craigslist looking for a date. This was one of the responses. I have to say, nice shave job. Think I'll invite him over next time I'm doing my bikini line. He'll show up with a bottle of Ciroc, some semi-good weed, and a protractor and we'll go to town.