Monday, May 12, 2008

media medley

aka What's Making the Work Week 2% More Tolerable


### 1 ###
This Guy on Craigslist
He sent the above picture to my sister as a precursor to boning her. Not sure why she turned him down. Was it the staring raptly at his own junk, as if he had never seen it before? The could-easily-transition-from-karate-class-to-tropical-funeral clothes? The almost 100% certainty that this gentleman was employing his own grandmother's living room for his filthy version of Sears portrait studio? I love my sister, but I kinda think she missed out. There's nothing hotter than getting plowed on a floral-print couch, your feet on the mock Victorian coffee table made of particleboard, your head bumping the wall and shaking the potpourri-scented wreaths of flowers.

### 2 ###
Beverly Hills Teens

I used to watch the hell out of this when I was kid. WHY??? Who greenlighted this one? Granted, I'm not going to expect a lot of smart decisions out of a cartoon conglomerate that calls itself DiC under the delusional notion that everyone (including small children) will be respectful and mature enough to pronounce it "deek" and not default to its more traditional pronunciation.

The lyrics to the theme song read like something a drunk business traveler from Budapest could be heard screaming into a karaoke machine at a bar in Midtown:

Come live your fantasy,
In Beverly Hills
Come on and make your dreams come true

And there's a teen club,
In Beverly Hills
So many things that we can do
Fun for me and you.

And the people here dance into the night
Everybody is dressed up out of sight,
We're livin' in style, we do it right
In Beverly Hills...


Favorite part is the middle. "And there's a teen club..." Oh really? A TEEN CLUB?? I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR ONE OF THOSE ALL MY LIFE!"

Sad thing is, if there was such a thing and they would have let me in at 12, I probably would have joined. I was too young to know that being a teenager totally sucks balls.

### 3 ###
Stripsters by Brad Walsh

Gorgeous boys. Truly, truly gorgeous boys. In various states of undress with the occasional token girl. Finally, someone has the proper ratio. Mama said rub one out.