Friday, February 29, 2008

lasagna vagina

went to conway, which is kind of like a trashier version of kmart for new yorkers. bought a pair of garfield underwear on my lunch hour.

they're grey and orange and say "don't know, don't care" on the front and "why bother?" across the bottom.

those are pretty nihilistic statements for undergarments. if i was a boner i don't think they'd make me feel too hopeful.

i almost bought a pair that said "deth [sic] before dishonor" and had an angry-looking eagle but the only size they had would have been snug on a 4-year old.

Monday, February 25, 2008

Your Hipster is in My Old Lady! Your Old Lady is in My Peanut Butter!

I watch QVC. A lot.

It's soothing.

My favorite shows are:

1. An Hour of Diamonique (CAN I GET SOME GLASS CHIPS! WHAT! WHAT!)

2. Around the Home (carbon monoxide detectors, power strips, & porcelain garden frogs)

3. Kirk's Folly Jewelry (hideous confections of crystals, stars, cherub faces, and seashells endowed with faux healing properties and marketed primarily towards ovarian cyst sufferers in Wisconsin)

Anyway, last night I got home from my Oscar Party and flipped on the Q and there's fucking Chloe Dao of Project Runway shilling blouses.

Not sure how I feel about this kind of crossover.

No one is supposed to know about my secret old lady.

What's next? Parker Posey in a Dove soap commercial?

If Fat Baby starts putting out bowls of bridge mix we will KNOW something seriously weird is going on.

p.s. In case you're 12 and don't get the title.