Fresh Froot

I'm a member of Weight Watchers and those kids are always dropping some knowledge.

Like the other day, when I tracked my weight after a good 2 months off. It said something to the effect of:

"Hmm..It seems you've gained weight. If you know why, then stop. If you don't, perhaps you should figure it out."

It read a bit like a message one would find in a fortune cookie after sitting down to a dinner hosted by Richard Simmons, only the the email itself wasn't slathered in baby oil.

This week I've been seeing this graphic:


whenever I log in to my account.

I don't have any questions about fruit but if I did, they might be something like:

*What's a fruit?

*Where can I purchase it?

*Why is it so pricey?

*Do you think my aversion to anything with a peel stems from the fact that my hipster ad agency thinks it's too adorable for a vending machine and therefore it's one of the few snacks provided gratis by my employer? Free bananas means we care about your health. Awww, THANKS COMPANY! I guess I don't mind that you raised my insurance premium.

*Why do Clementines come in adorable little crates while pears lie around all shiftless, sloppy, and disorganized?

*When will I come to terms with fruit's actual life cycle vs. my perceived aspirational life cycle and, upon purchase, just throw it directly into the garbage?

*Why do old people keep cans of fruit cocktail in their dresser drawers?