Monday, May 12, 2008

media medley

aka What's Making the Work Week 2% More Tolerable

### 1 ###
This Guy on Craigslist
He sent the above picture to my sister as a precursor to boning her. Not sure why she turned him down. Was it the staring raptly at his own junk, as if he had never seen it before? The could-easily-transition-from-karate-class-to-tropical-funeral clothes? The almost 100% certainty that this gentleman was employing his own grandmother's living room for his filthy version of Sears portrait studio? I love my sister, but I kinda think she missed out. There's nothing hotter than getting plowed on a floral-print couch, your feet on the mock Victorian coffee table made of particleboard, your head bumping the wall and shaking the potpourri-scented wreaths of flowers.

### 2 ###
Beverly Hills Teens

I used to watch the hell out of this when I was kid. WHY??? Who greenlighted this one? Granted, I'm not going to expect a lot of smart decisions out of a cartoon conglomerate that calls itself DiC under the delusional notion that everyone (including small children) will be respectful and mature enough to pronounce it "deek" and not default to its more traditional pronunciation.

The lyrics to the theme song read like something a drunk business traveler from Budapest could be heard screaming into a karaoke machine at a bar in Midtown:

Come live your fantasy,
In Beverly Hills
Come on and make your dreams come true

And there's a teen club,
In Beverly Hills
So many things that we can do
Fun for me and you.

And the people here dance into the night
Everybody is dressed up out of sight,
We're livin' in style, we do it right
In Beverly Hills...

Favorite part is the middle. "And there's a teen club..." Oh really? A TEEN CLUB?? I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR ONE OF THOSE ALL MY LIFE!"

Sad thing is, if there was such a thing and they would have let me in at 12, I probably would have joined. I was too young to know that being a teenager totally sucks balls.

### 3 ###
Stripsters by Brad Walsh

Gorgeous boys. Truly, truly gorgeous boys. In various states of undress with the occasional token girl. Finally, someone has the proper ratio. Mama said rub one out.


OLT said...

so was that The Bangles or the voice of Jem singing the theme song to that cartoon?

i vaguely remember....maybe i saw 2 episodes? it prob wasn't shown in the South much cos I TOTALLY LOVE IT and would've watched it to death.

bad girls always have dark hair??

mintzworks said...

Wow. I make a demand and you deliver IMMEDIATELY.

I like that.

Now for me to make more demands!

Joey Headset said...

The guy from No Country for Old Men called. He wants his haircut back.

Erin Bradley said...

I live to serve (but not in a creepy BDSM way).

Outrageouschaos said...

It appears your sister's friend has something in his pants. Is it a cordless phone? The drawstring?

Maybe he's inspecting his junk because something new and unexpected appeared. Like the Herp.

billyfleetwood said...

Your sister is way too hot for such shenanigans...

Sabina said...

God, I LOVE the living room pictured behind guy #1. That is hilarious.

pb said...

Gorgeous? I don't know. Some of those Junk models look like they belong in a hematologist's waiting room. Maybe anemia is the new anorexia.

Brenda said...

Porn or American Apparel ad? I can't tell.